


A Life Worth Living

by Sarcastic_Soulmate



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Other, Past Abuse, Reflection, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:42:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28512840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarcastic_Soulmate/pseuds/Sarcastic_Soulmate
Summary: Maddie reflects on her choices.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	A Life Worth Living

**Author's Note:**

> tw // mentions of domestic violence

Ever since Maddie realized she was stuck in her relationship with Doug, she never allowed herself to think about a future where she'd be happy and free from the pain and suffering. She figured that since it wasn't possible, fantasizing about it would cloud her judgement. 

Everything she ever did was wrong. When she cooked, Doug would make a face at the smell. When she didn't, Doug would accuse of her of neglecting him. She was too scared to point out that by that logic, he was neglecting her far more than she was him. 

When Doug made poor choices, that was Maddie's fault too. The Christmas she decided to leave him was after he had destroyed their Christmas decorations, and when he came back, kissed her blood-covered face and said that she'd do better next time. 

Maddie slowly started to open up again after moving to L.A. She got a new job as a 9-1-1 operator and made a lot of new friends. She even made a date with the man she had been crushing on for a while. Her found family made her feel safe in a time in her life when she didn't think that would ever be possible. 

Then the date was ruined, Chimney was almost killed, and her husband found her and tried to kill her despite saying that she was all he had. 

And she killed him. To this day, she still regrets it. Not because she still felt love for him, but because she hated the feeling of being a murderer, no matter how many time she had been told by various people in her life that if she hadn't killed Doug, he'd have killed her. Another part of Maddie wanted him to rot in jail for life to pay for what he did to her, even though that wouldn't have been guaranteed if he had lived. 

Then Maddie tried to continue her life in L.A. like the whole thing had never happened which didn't go so well in reference to trying to continue her relationship with Chimney. She learned a very valuable lesson about taking time to heal, not just for herself, but for him too. 

Taking the time to heal on her own was rough, especially because so many times, she would see something funny and want to text him so bad before remembering that she couldn't. Being without him really made her realize how involved he was in her life. 

It wasn't only rough for that reason, though, because she didn't realize she'd have to think about, talk about, and revisit her past to even begin to heal from it. The idea of recovering wasn't to get to a point where she could keep pretending her relationship with Doug never existed, it was to acknowledge every single aspect of that relationship to better understand herself and how to become a stronger, better, and more mentally stable person. 

One day she felt ready. One day she visited Chimney at the fire station, and said that maybe they couldn't get back what they previously had, but they could still create something else if they really tried. 

And they did. And it worked. It just took time. 

Maddie never thought her life would end up so good. She'll never fully recover from the pain of the past, but she doesn't have to hide it anymore. 

She finally found a life worth living.

**Author's Note:**

> this was meant to go up Monday but kassie made me post it now lmao


End file.
